Monday, August 15, 2011
a bit of honesty.
On Saturday night I was trying to sleep, and all of a sudden a little spark of fear crept into my thoughts. "What if Tal doesn't make enough money this month for us to pay rent next month?" So I thought on this for awhile... and then, "What if the money we have now won't carry us from now until September 1st?" Then I really started worrying. I sat up in bed, and woke Tal up. Tal wasn't amused. He said, "I can't take care of this right now, I'll figure stuff out tomorrow, neither of us can do anything right now."
Sometimes I love masculine practicality, and although I understood the wisdom in what Tal said, I couldn't seem to shake it. So I prayed, asking God to relieve my worries, and to remind me of all the times that he's provided for us, even in the past year. Then I thought of how my dad always provided for our family, I never had to worry... it was never even a consideration in my mind whether or not we'd have enough money for the next month (and yet I'm sure my parents dealt with those worries :P). Then I thought of how our future children would think of Tal that way, never worrying, because he'd provide.
Isn't that how I should think of my heavenly father? Never worrying because he'll always provide. It may not be how I think I should be provided for, I may not know where money is coming from 6 months down the road... but each day I know that I'll be provided for. God's provided me with a responsible husband, and with so many times of provision in the past.
Life's not perfect, and we often have to go through times of need to strengthen our faith, but I'm so glad to have experienced the loving provision of God, yet again. Tal's job is more secure than we thought it would be, his last cheque was larger than we thought it would be, and money in the mail is nothing to sneeze at either!
If you're worrying, rest, God's provision will come. (this may have to be my mantra for the next few years...)